A Father Son Conversation

Something came up in my mind as I was talking to my dad as we wound down the road from Big Bear. I told him, "There is a way to get to every single electrical tower and pole by car in the entire United States." "Yup" was all I got. He seemed too focused on driving to talk to his curious son. "Its amazing," I exclaimed, "That they place roads based on these towers...Or do they place towers based on the roads?" We reached a smoother, less demanding section of the road.
"Wow look at how low the snow fell!" My father tried to change the subject. I decided he wasn't in the mood to talk right then. I turned on our mutual radio station, and stared out at the snow covered forest.

"What would it be like to live free? To live off the land, make your own decisions and survive off of what God provides?" I said looking out at the majestic valley.
"You know, when I was living in Iran, my friend and I did that for a summer. We built a cabin-like shelter that spring, and when school was out, we set out to the nearby desert hills and mountains. We brought all of our food in my car, and set up by a small creek." He said excitedly.
"How was it?" I asked.
"It was one of the best experiences of my life, and I am still good friends with that man. If you want to do it for a year, I highly recommend it. It was so great to just be free and make my own decisions, which I would either succeed or suffer for." He told me.

I had absolutely no idea that I could have such dreams as my father did when he was a child. I had no idea where to begin, and immediately was excited about going "off the grid". I'll just have to wait and see when I am ready, and make the choice.

Notes From The Underground

I hate the Underground Man. All of his actions and ideas disparage me. Just the idea of pondering every aspect of life makes me uncomfortable. This man ruined all of his chances with love. He lets one girl into his life, one girl who he think understands him, and he ruins it. I find him pathetic. All of his life he's been this insecure, worried man, and when he got his chance to change, he blew it!

Liza was his outlet to the world around him. She actually found some sort of love for him. He let her into his life, yet he refused to change himself. He takes himself to seriously just because he wants others to take him seriously. Now I see how he is like Dwight Schrute. They just put on this facade only because they want others to see them like that.

Wait. No. What I'm saying doesn't make sense. I take back everything that I said. Maybe they are actually both like that. Maybe the underground man actually went through trauma as a kid, or something like that? What if he is suffering and scared, sad and lonely? So maybe there is hope for the underground man. He might be actually like that. And that's sad. Poor guy.

The Most Interesting Man In The World

I find "Notes From Underground" to be one of the most interesting novels I have ever read. The underground man composes an air of mystery, complexity, and wonder. His imagination runs wild, and when he talks of the ideal gentleman having endless free will, I believe he's talking about himself. But his one remark in section IX about how all his talk was a joke interested me. Why would he even say it if it's a joke?

He doesn't want the reader to know that it's all true, and what he said from sections I through IX really are his grounded beliefs. His thoughts really related to what's been on my mind lately. Life is really all about the process and mystery of things. For example, I believe that there is true purpose to never finding out certain things, such as mysterious neighbors. If you knew all about your neighbors, sure you'd be comfortable with them, but things wouldn't be so interesting. It's the mystery that makes them interesting. But things like working for that mystery and finding a final product are what are really fun. Working on a piece of art can be alright, but what is the artist working towards? THE FINAL PIECE. It's that moment that really counts, when you've accomplished something.

The underground man clearly has a lot to say about everything, but I wonder one thing: why aren't we given a description of his appearance or the setting? As of now, I find it's better to not have a description, so we can use our understanding of his character to play that out in our minds. I'll revisit this question in later posts, but for now, here's what I think the man looks like.